I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
