Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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