I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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