Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
