I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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