PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
