we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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