just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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