I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
