I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
