I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
