Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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