I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need water and some morals
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
