Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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