true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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