I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
