you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
