i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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