Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
