You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
