he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
