i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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