her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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