If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
