I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Randomize
