Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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