Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
