I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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