so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
