if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
