i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
