I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
