I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
