All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize