I showed him my bush... on skype.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
