great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
