I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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