Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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