Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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