yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it's like heaven, but drunker
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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