ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
