What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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