dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If I die, sorry about rent.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize