you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
