I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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