I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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