I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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