Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
