Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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