She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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