Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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