YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
