Me too!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
