Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
