Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
