I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
