I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
