did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
