Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize